Recently I started re-establishing relationships with friends from high school, about 25yrs ago.  I was thinking at the time, "Wow, I wonder what their all up to today", "I sure miss them"... etc... etc.. You probably know what I mean... Just feeling nastalgic and a little home sick for those times and friends.

The reality is that many of those friends were more associates than friends.  Of the people I truly considered friends at the time, there were very few I could really trust.  In the end, I only carried one or two of those relationships into adulthood and even those are occasional communications and almost never face to face.

Thanks to the age of social networking (Sites like this, Facebook, MySpace, and Twitter), I have made contact with no less than 100 people from highschool.  I was elated.

However, as I got into conversation with some of them I found out that they have alot of problems.  Some worse than my own, some better.  Some are quiet and subdued regarding their lives today, and others are just right out there with it.

The hardest one I've been dealing with is two friends that had gotten married, had children, later divorced, had legal issues with child custody, etc.. Lots of deception, abuse, and the kids are trully the ones that are suffering...

As soon as these two found out that their Ex was associated with me through a social networking site, they both engaged me to support their position to apply pressure to the other for compliance, mercy, etc...

Based on the nature of approach and facts stated, my own knowledge of law, my counselling experience, and other issues, I tend to believe one over the other. But I am sure that they are telling me the truth as they see it.  We all have our own lens which we filter our experiences through.

I am glad to help them in what little ways I can.... Trying not to take sides, just providing counsel to defuse the anger and hopefully move towards a better position for the children in all of it.  That is pretty much all I can do.  I truely care for both of them and am sorry they've had such a hard time of it.  I grew up with both of them.

But that is not really what I am writing about.  The issue is: Was it even good for me to make these connections?  Was it beneficial to anyone other than me to re-establish relationships with people I hardly spoke to 25yrs ago?  If I didn't like them enough to hang out together back then, why would I like them anymore today?

I suppose I am hoping to have better relationships. I am hoping that the "clic" mentality of those high school years is gone and the things we held in common still exist and maybe even have grown so that we can have better relationship than in the past.  I'm hoping that the life experience has moved us all to a better place in how we interact with each other.

I was horribly disappointed with my high school experience.  I wanted so much to be included and liked.  I probably came off as desperate.  Maybe it was just me and my own insecurities from a bad situation that occurred a few years earlier.  I had no steady girl friend in high school, I didn't even know there were any girls that were really interested in me until after I had graduated and was engaged.  For most of high school I felt lonely and ridiculed.

I suppose some of that I brought on myself, but not all.  There were the usual assortment of bullies.  The theater crowd, the jock crowd, the music crowd, thart artists, the geeks, and others. I kind of floated between them all (with the exception of the bullies - where I was simply a target).  Maybe not joining one group exclusively was the problem.

I do not know today if I missed out on something great or dodged a bullet. I just wanted friends.

So I've engaged a few of those people.  Some seem nice.  Some aren't talking.  Some have major ongoing problems.  Very few are the successes they envisioned as they embarked upon life.  I hope they all have some happy place in their lives and they all find joy in living it.

For me? Well, I struggle through, as the blogs I write attest.  Money is short, bills are high.  I have a large family and for anyone who is close to us, we've had our own problems, but have worked through most of them with the mutual assumption that marriage is forever.  Still we at least survive and try to grasp the reigns of the few pleasures that come our way.

Perhaps the social networking re-union will help us to realize things could be worse.  It may  come at a time of need for those I am contacting.  It means nothing to anyone but me. Still, I have enjoyed the communication - with those that have responded. 

For those that are struggling, I can pray.  I can advise if I've been there and done that.  I wish I could do more, but it is just not possible.

I hope that anyone who reads this and figures out who I really am under this pen name is doing well.  I hope that if they were friends, that they would attempt to contact me to re-establish.  I hope that if they were someone that never really liked me... Well.. Just stay distant, as I really haven't changed that much.  If you didn't like me then, you probably wont like me know either.

Social networking.  Friend or Foe?  I've got mixed emotions.  Hopefully the good will outway they bad.