This morning I was reviewing some old email discussion with a former associate.  As I read it, I was reminded of events that had not only occurred in that relationship but with others as well.  The matter at hand is gossip - or evil speech.  That is speach that is intended to cause harm.

A few years ago I began doing some contracting for a friend of mine.  He needed some IT work done by a skilled professional that he knew he could trust.  This relationship went well.  He even offerred me a substantial sum to work for him directly at one point.  Due to the unstable nature of his business, I declined.  Since he has since "re-organized" his business, I think that this was probably a good decision.

During the course of my contracting work with him I performed IT related services that were in his interest.  They were not always in his partners interest, but they were in his.  Since he was paying me directly and I reported directly to him as the head of the company I kept all information on projects assigned to me confidential.  At least one of his partners knew that I was working on "secret" projects for him, but also that he did not want to know what they were.

Most of the projects were intrustion testing into their corporate site, direct marketing, and other alternate income stream generating projects.  Some of these projects were intended to provide direct revenue to my friend outside o fthe current business structure.  Since the business was essentially his, I tried to shrug off the some of the ethical issues that I thought might be there.

He had hired other friends and family into his business too.  Some of them had some experience in IT.  Theydid not work in an IT capacity, but in other office/production capacities.

It was over a year ago now that one of my firend's associates did something, what no one will say, to undermine my relationship.  I had upset some of them because my job was, in part, to find flaws in their work: Intrusion testing.  I found SQL injection vulnerabilities in their main sites.  Others considered themselves to be IT gurus, but only worked in IT a small fraction of their work life.

At some point my friend stopped returning my calls and stopped responding to my emails.  Through mutual friends, I encouraged him to contact me as there were issues in his environment that had come up that needed to be addressed.  They responded to me in an odd way.  They  discouraged me from making direct contact.  I still do not know why to this day.

My conclusion on the matter was that his other associates had spoken evil of me, probably making stuff up as they went along.  Jealousy, resentment, more?  Who knows.  I know that some of them felt that way.

My friend severed the contract relationship with no notice to me, he instructed his accountant to not issue any more checks to me.  I stopped all directed project work at that time and thirty days later I suspended monitoring services after repeatedly trying to make contact with no response.

So what did I lose to those office politics?  I lost $2000 to $4000 a month in revenue to my household.  I lost a friend of 10 years.  I lost a large part of the shared friendships we ahd enjoyed.  I lost opportunity for the future with his business endevours.

What did he lose?  Well, initially he lost a friend that had his back.  Later due to the actions of those who forced me out, he lost business viability because they did not follow the guideline that the market required for certain types of marketing.   Based on feed back, their actions cost over 50% of his revenue stream.  He lost system monitoring and product testing.  He lost the high level of support at a low price that he once enjoyed.

What did the other associates lose that caused this?  Well, most of them lost their jobs about that time, some were later rehired under a new business name.  Some of them lost industry reputation because of the actions they performed that were outside of acceptable practices, some were even illegal based on current law.

Everyone lost.  Some more than others. 

I apologize for getting so lengthy on this one incident, but it is difficult to explain without breaking the understood confidentiality that, whether I am bound to or not, I still try to hold to.

There are other similar incidents in other companies.  There always seems to be, especially in oppressive environments, gossip to undermine the perceived competency or intent of others in the environment.  Often times I found people that are under skilled or who are not confident in their own abilities have a need to make others look bad inorder to make themselves look good.

Unfortunately, only the most astute managers will see though this.  The tendancy is to examine the faults of those being complained about.  Unfortunately, this takes focus off of the team as a whole and the ones doing the complaining are perceived as achievers, while those being complained about are perceived as under achievers.

In one position I held I was given a performance bonus as a contractor that amounted to almost 1/15th my annual revenue from that source.  It was not a small sum.  Two months later I was dismissed by my immediate supervisor.  His stated reason? First he said it wasn't his decision.  Later he admitted that it was, but ath it was based on poor performance over the last six months. (Only one month had passed since my bonus check).  The reality?  I knew more about the environment and how it worked.  I had a better overall relationship with the other staff.  When I handed my resume to his supervisor, he turned pale.  He went to the COO.  The COO's response?  "It's too late now"..  The seperation did not occur because of professionalism or performance, but because of a personal issue. 

How was that supervisor able to get rid of a top performing player?  Easy, he started only one month earlier speaking evil of my performance in casual conversations.(This was reported to me by an Admin Asst. that told me to "watch your back with him, he is not really  your friend").  Despite the fact I was there hours before him each day, and often stayed hours later, only took time off for religious observance or if I was deathly ill.  I even skipped my grandmother's funeral because the company was migrating environments. (He took 3 days off for his dog dying).  Was it fair? no.  Was it good? no.  But it was.

As you can tell I have a certain amount of bitterness over these situations.  And if you have been through similar situations you might feel the same.

A few years ago I was involved in a fledgling ministry.  I worked with the leader of that ministry for many years.  Together we brought it to a world wide audience.  Through out the years many people complained about one thing or another that the leader did, often times with legitimate complaints. I am sure that there were those that complained about me too.  Eventually, the leader was reprimanded for various issues and he left.  In doing so, he and a couple of other leaders said many things about those of us who called for accountability in the leadership.  Most often they accused us of doing the very things they were attempting to do.  Between each other they convinced themselves that they did not need to submit to the authority that they sat on.  Between themselves they tried to manipulate the rules of order which the organization operated under.  The other leaders convinced the primary leader that he was better than the rest and the only one who had the right to lead.  They also convinced that leader that the other leaders were attempting to steal his ministry, as if a ministry is a business.  None of us want his ministry.  We have our own work to do.  We just wanted to be sure that the business side of things was accountable and running in an ethical manner.  We were unsuccessful in obtaining accountability in that organization with that leader.  For many months he publically made accusation against the other leaders - and most if it was directed at me. 

I have to wonder what it is about me that makes these men afraid.  Is it so hard to run a business of any kind in an ethical legal manner?  Is it so hard to work hard and be rewarded based on the merit of your work?  Why do some have to try to make others look bad to get a sense of good about themselves? 

I've always held that good work should stand on its own.  However, when people open their ears to the evil speach it destroys moral, it destroys careers, it destroys ministries, it destroys business.  We need to be careful of what we say around others.  We do not know what affect it may have that we were not intending.

The supervisor that lied about me to upper management for his own personal reasons will one day have to answer for that.  The same is true for the "mutual friends" that destroyed both a personal and business relationship.  Even more so, those individuals that destroyed a work of G-d for their own gain.

If you feel the need to tear someone down, it is perhaps better that you examine your own faults and apply correction there,  It is most often those that are doing the cutting that have the weakest roots.

It's like I was told by my grand mother, "If you don't have anything ice to say, it is better to say nothing at all"

Or, as I've said, "It is better to be silent and thought a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt"

Despite the various set backs these arious individuals attempted to impune to my life, I continue to be blessed through a strong work ethic and hard work.  I reach more people today in may various ministries and blogs than ever before.  I have more freedom than ever before.  My income is not as great at this time, but I am better off than others that I know.

So, evil speach?  Eventually it only harms the person who does it.  Lies are remembered when they are discovered.  Underhanded behaviour is always rewarded accordingly.

Dont let that casual conversation with your co-worker or friend become a CLM "Career Limiting Move".